Yaadein

There were days when I used to compose poems on a regular basis. But now, as time has passed on and I lead a very busy life (that's an excuse which is easy to use), I write poems very rarely. Therefore this composition of importance to me. I composed this when I was in a dual state of mind over a girl. I missed her sorely (I was unable to decide then whether it was love or a crush). And for some unknown reason, as a coincidence, I wanted to bring out the creative instinct within me at the same time. Here's that composition. Its in Hindi (for the benefit of those who dont know it)


Tumhara noor dekhne ko main taras gaya
saawan aaya aur baras gaya
tumhara noor kahin nazar nahi aaya
dekhte hi dekhte ek baras gaya

main tumhare khayalon mein khota raha
tumhaari yaadon ko sapnon mein pirota raha
tumhari wafai ka har ek wada yaad hai mujhe
tum kya jaano ki tumhari yaad mein kaise rota raha

ab judaai ka gam mujhe aise sataata hai
har lamha dil teri har ek baat yaad dilaata hai
ek pal ab reh naa sakunga tumhare bina
har pal mujhko tera hi khayal aata hai

saath bitaaya hua har woh lamha jee raha hoon
tere pyaar mein gamon ke aansoon pee raha hoon
Aye khuda mujhe mere pyaar se milaade
main kabse apne pyaar ki yaadon mein jee raha hoon

Of Forks, Knives and Spoons

"My father asked me never to eat with my hand. I had to use a fork and a knife - always. And it is for this same reason that I like to break the rule" (smiles...). This is what a South African friend of my cousin said when he had come home to eat Indian food.

It is a general notion that people should follow the customs of the place they visit. Atleast we Indians try to do that and I dont know the reasons for that. Every country has its own cultures and traditions. People do not change their culture or traditions so easily. It is indeed a matter of pride that makes us different from the rest. Yes, it is definitely worthwhile to try one's hand at a new style of eating. But to change it altogether, is a totally different issue.

This holds good not only for eating styles but for everything else that speaks about one's culture. There are certain qualities of a culture (or shall I call them trademarks?) which distinguish it. These trademarks are unique and convey a lot about the culture. An example of such uniqueness in the Hindu culture is that of wearing a Bindi. Sadly, it is more of a fashion accessory these days than being a religious one. The Bindi is put by the Hindu women folk for many reasons. The bindi is placed between the two eyelashes just above the nose. It is believed that this is the point where Lord Shiva's third eye resides, or the most powerful nerve is present where all human energy is concentrated. Pressing on this point gives immense power to humans and keeps the focus in life. In olden days, a bindi worn by the women used to signify that the women is married and used to save her from men of evil thoughts. It is such a pity that a small bindi with so much history is now worn for fashion. The irony is that in this modern world, married women dont put on bindis while going to work (to dress in the western way).

Such a cultural change does indeed bridge the global gap, but slowly erodes one's traditional values. While some cultures adopt a common culture, keeping their own culture in tact, we are losing track of our own culture at a rapid pace. It is sad that we do not appreciate the insight of our own people while forming the conventions of our culture. It is easy to be trendy and stylish, but abolishing one's own traditional values is not the right way of doing it.

There's way too far for us to learn from other cultures. We need to appreciate our own culture and to spread its uniqueness among folks of other nations. I have met people from other countries who appreciate Indian culture, but the number of Indians who appreciate their own country/culture is fast dwindling.

We are not people who have been habituated to eating with forks and knives. We have learnt eating with our hands. Lets appreciate that. God has given us hands to feel the divine food and not to hold a fork and knife. Those are cutleries made for certain dishes only. Lets be Indians. There's absolutely no shame in being what we are.

I am proud to be an Indian. Are you?

A guy, a girl and a broken friendship

My friends believe in the old adage – “Boys and girls can’t remain friends. The friendship will someday convert into love” and I used to argue for hours together quoting many examples from my own life. However, I knew that one example against me could weaken my argument or even worse, defeat it. And its sad to start off a blog this way agreeing with my friends that they were true and I have lost the argument.

You ask me why should I start with such a topic and I wont have an answer. The only thing that I would be able to say is that this was one of the most striking things that came to my mind to write about. Moreover such occurrences are commonplace and there would have been numerous instances to prove this. To find evidence, go to any college and ask the final year students. I am sure one would find at least one such instance (I am being a pessimist in this case) in every single co-ed college.

To begin with, I always believed in boys and girls being equal in every way. So, my friends circle was never deplete of friends of either sex, for I look up to people of either sexes with equal respect. This world has been a bit prejudiced and has more often than not made fun of the weaker sex. More so in a country like India where women are supposed to stay on at home and go about the household chores dutifully and not make a fuss about it. It still is the notion in a majority of the households in India. Though times are changing and more girls are coming forward and are almost on equal footing with men, the fact remains that girls are not equivalent to guys and the duties of either sex are outlined and they shouldn’t be tampered with. However, I never believed in all that crap and went on in life happily making friends with anyone who I felt was honest and decent.

On the way, I made many friends. The association with many of them has been memorable. I am restricting this blog only to my “girl” friends (not girlfriends as there is a huge misconception in India about this word as well). I have made such good friends with some of them that I love talking to them and sharing my opinions no matter what the topic be. So much so that sometimes, I would even talk to my “girl” friends first, rather than telling it to the guys. I never even thought that my association with them would turn into any other relationship except friendship.

However, there have been some that have turned pleasant associations into bitter memories. The ones that have left a scar have been the ones where the friendship turned into something else - more often than not, into love. I will not find faults with anyone for this is most natural and things as this are bound to happen. But, I would like to find out what needs to be done to avoid such embarrassing situations where it is difficult to part with close friends or to continue soulless relations. Friendship seems to be fine and friends would go out to movies, discos, picnics, holidays, a cultural event, or any restaurant. But these are those small events that lead from one thing to another. I would like to change the old saying “All roads lead to Rome” to “All things lead to love” in this context. I still remain perplexed.

God might be smiling at this as I think of the forbidden fruit that Adam ate. It will take guys a few days to come over it and probably little longer for our female counterparts. There might even be relationships where this might not happen at all and that would be great, but the truth is that in many cases – what starts as a friendship between a boy and a girl, generally ends in marriage or a broken relationship and more often in a broken relationship. It is my luck as well that I have found a set of friends who have remained friends of mine since the day we met (we have been so close and yet thoughts of love never entered our minds). But somehow I feel that these are odd rare cases ;-)

Let's see what happens when I am friends with the next girl I meet :-)